Audra Krell

On Purpose

Airport Insecurity

Turns out Las Vegas has some new, uh very open security screening. I had the displeasure of experiencing it this past week. 

Approaching the belt, I encountered a gruff agent, hands on hips and bent forward from the waist.

"Do you have any metal at all in your body?"


"Any metal whatsoever, including gum wrappers in your pockets?"


"Proceed to the left inside the cage."

"What the?"

"Stand with your feet farther apart than that. Now place both hands above your head and lock your fingers."

I honestly thought it was a joke. Any second a pole was going to drop and my next instruction would be "Move your hips like yeah." It was Vegas after all.

Seriously, I felt violated standing there wondering if my deodorant was working. 

It was a real party in the USA.

Next time I will request a private screening to avoid the embarrassment, but I'm gonna need my boots on boys, if I have to dance.


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12 thoughts on “Airport Insecurity

  1. Ughhh! How rude! Not that we mind strong security people, a lil’ tact would be good.
    Have a HAPPY, HAPPY EASTER weekend, and dance all you want!
    Keep us updated too!

  2. Whey, I wanna be on your blogroll. Pick me. Pick me… ha!
    Ginger (again)

  3. I have not updated my blogroll in about a year. Congratulations on being the first added in the past nine months! Happy to do so Ginger!

  4. Audra…
    …the thought that comes to my mind is…
    line dancing!!! (maybe they were prepping you, you know, for some big *ahem* fancy competition…)
    (…although, I suppose you would probably need more space…and less of an “I’m under arrest” type of stance…)
    Happy Easter to you and your all of your family!

  5. Lance, I knew you would understand I meant line dancing. You know, I've heard everything happens for a reason, so I think your thinking is correct. All about preparing me for a big line dancing moment in Airport security to be shown on Youtube all over the world!  Happy Easter to you as well my friend!

  6. I’m just cracking up reading this post, because I had this done to me for the first time heading back from CA. They did ask if I needed a private room and I said “No, that’s ok.” She then proceeded to tell me that if her wand beeps over any “sensitive” areas, she would need touch those areas but would use the back of her hand. I thought, what’s really the difference? Anyway, it was pretty humiliating, since we were flying out of John Wayne Airport which is pretty small and it seemed like everyone was watching. It just so happened that our departure gate happened to be right across from the screening area, which was just great since most of the passengers were already waiting there! I feel your pain, Audra!

  7. I'm not alone! : )  Thanks Wendy, I feel better!

  8. And this is better than the previous security screenings how? Hmmm… thanks!

  9. It is just shameful and ridiculous that you were treated like that. We’re getting waaaay too paranoid in this country. I mean, really, like you have ‘terrorist’ written all over you, huh?
    So far, I’ve never been treated badly by security at any airport. Thank goodness! Nothing’s worse than a security guard with a Napolean complex!

  10. You are making me laugh… takes a lot to embarrass me, and it was a little funny, but I don't want to do it again. Thanks for stopping by, I always love to hear from you!

  11. Did they put on great music for your “show?” A little Temptations or David Nail?
    Yucky this happenened. I haven’t had such an experience (yet.) As you say, everything happens for a reason.
    The comments remind me I need to update my blogroll too!! Say bye to some who moved on, and others who have moved in. 🙂
    Blessings of this and every day to you, Audra!!

  12. You never fail to make me laugh Jannie, no, that was the other problem, no good music at all. Glad to be of help on the blogroll…Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

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