Audra Krell

On Purpose

Not Bulletproof…Yet

So I’m querying agents and publishers like crazy with my new novel, Abandoned Ship. How exciting, you might think. And it is.

Every house or agent wants something different. One wants the first 3 chapters pasted in the email and will delete if you attach. Other agencies say that pasting “ruins the formatting and there couldn’t be a worse first impression”. Others want a biography, some want a long synopsis and still others want a one page query which covers your life story. Some don’t accept snail mail, others won’t accept email.

Where’s the exciting part you ask? It’s in the work. It takes hours of due diligence to query just 2 or 3 agents. The satisfaction of hitting send or packaging up a proposal and dropping it in the mail is glorious. But with all the nets thrown, come the rejections.

And they sting.

Because you want to know, I’ll tell you. I’m on my 25th rejection between my first and second book. So it’s really an anniversary of sorts. Woo Hoo! That’s me celebrating with a mini fist pump.

After 25, it might get a little easier. I thought. Truth is, I didn’t think there’d be a number 25. Somebody was going to beg me for my exclusive work. Maybe even two somebody’s. Alas, they became number 24 and 25 respectively and within 15 minutes of each other.

So while my thick skin is growing, it certainly is far from bulletproof. And while we’re talking about being far from things, I’m far from giving up.

If you have a range of 0-100, 100 being I’ve done everything I can to make my baby fly, I’m at about an 8.

Loving the journey and the grace afforded me along the way. There are some very nice agents and publishers out there, even in the midst of delivering news I don’t want to hear.

I’m just grateful for the chance.


What about you? On a scale of 0-100, where do fall with your dream? What can you do to put yourself closer to 100?


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10 thoughts on “Not Bulletproof…Yet

  1. Good question. I have a bucket list of sorts that I’m ticking off as I can, but as for a singular dream, I don’t know that I have one. Perhaps the dream is evolving. I have plenty for which to be grateful in the extreme, and I’m looking forward to His grace and mercy in this adventure called Ethiopian adoption. But I guess, for me, one who tends toward the melancholy, the anxious and comparing myself against others…living each day in gratitude and with a content heart is the goal. And if I can do that, my life’ll be dreamy. 🙂

    Congrats on writing not only your first, but 2nd book ,Audra! And I’m sorry about those stingy rejects. I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there and seeing where God takes you.

    • You’ve always been so kind to me Gretchen. Thank you! And by the way, I don’t recall you as melancholy when we were roommates! One of my favorite memories, is watching/crying over Little House! You do know our youngest son is named after Michael Landon yes?

  2. Audra,
    While it might not feel this way to you – I want you to know how incredibly inspirational this is to read today.

    This book…it’s a journey for you. And as challenging as those rejection letters are – they are part of that journey as well. And the thing is – your spirit is so filled with belief…and what a beautiful thing that is. For me, I just love that – how you are buoyed by that belief! So, Audra, as you continue on this part of your journey – know that your are touching others with your grace (i.e me).

    Thank you, dear friend…for sharing your story, and for the care and love you bring into this world…

    • Thank you Lance, I was picturing the journey as I wrote and it’s so great that it came across. You and I are a lot alike, we don’t quit! Good things happen when you hold on….thanks for being here Lance!

  3. Oh, girl, I wouldn’t dare rank my dreams today. But, I will keep believing and pressing on. Love your outlook, and can’t wait to read your book.

    Standing with you,

  4. Thanks for sharing your journey. I know a bit of what you’re going through. I’m probably around an 8 as well. Not for lack of trying, just the number relative to the rest of my life. For you and me, I know that’s what we will give or at least as long as we will give our passion.

    God has blessed you with great determination and perseverance. When His time is right, all things will fall into place.

    Thanks for the inspiration. Keep on keepin’ on…

  5. I didn’t know you were in this process, Audra. I’m going to congratulate you in advance, because I believe in you and in your work.

    I’m in your corner, cheering and “fist-pumping.”

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