For 26 hours I rode the roller coaster, eyes closed, hands in the air, nausea and all. I’m in the final stretch of preparations for our medical mission trip to Valladolid.
After feeling ill all week, I went to the doctor yesterday. I was frustrated that I had to go and sent a text to a couple of girlfriends regarding how distracted I was by my physical problems.
After talking for a bit, the Doc asked if I could be pregnant. I almost snorted. “Um, No.”
She raised her eyebrows, burrowing into my eyes.
“Really. No chance.” I assured her.
“I want you to take a test anyway.”
10 minutes later she opened the door and dropped a bomb or several. The test came back positive. And, I was having a miscarriage. And, if the pregnancy was ectopic, I would be having surgery. And, I wouldn’t be going on the mission trip.
The rickety car flew around the old wooden tracks faster and faster as the bottom fell. The ultrasound was scheduled for today and I made my way home. I felt lousy, was consumed with a need for answers and in shock. Collapsing in bed, I prayed for direction, healing and answers. Fever and chills ruled the tunnel of night and the car began another steep decent as daylight dawned.
Finally we bumped to a stop about 10:00 this morning. Blood work showed no pregnancy, ultrasound was great, no explanation for a host of unusual symptoms and a positive pregnancy test yesterday. I do have an infection, but that’s a different distraction which has nothing to with the original problems.
I’m baffled by the events of the last two days. I don’t have answers and I have more questions. But what I do know, is that God is good, He’s got this and He will lead me away from the tracks.
My job is to stay the course now. This isn’t about me and I won’t be distracted from serving the marginalized people of Valladolid. I value my health and I will take care of myself, however I won’t lose my ability to pay attention to what I’ve been called to do.
You can easily see what to pray for and as always, we deeply appreciate the power of standing tall together, on our knees.
What about you? Ever had a time of deep distraction from the things God was calling you to? What did you do?
Hugs, dear one. And prayers. The enemy sure loves to complicate things, doesn’t he? Perfectionism is a common one for me, as is any type of electronics.
He does do his best to distract and complicate. I’ve got the perfectionism bug too!
Wow, so sorry to hear of your rickety ride. Big, warm ehug to you! Honestly, sometimes I get distracted by the activity of doing what God has called me to do. All the activity of ministry can sneak in between me and Christ. Pretty soon I’m doing drive-by devotionals. I begin missing His tenderness and His direction. The dead give away is usually frustration and irritability.
Thank you Miss Christy! We are doing devotions every morning there and my Keegs will be on guitar. I’m looking so forward to what God is going to do this week.
Wow! That’s beyond huge! A roller coaster ride is an understatement I’d say. It would have been easy for you to throw in the towel and just say, “It’s not God’s will.” But maybe that’s exactly what His will is. Sharing that in the scenario should be a sign to the rest of us to suck it up and do the job He’s calling us to.
Praying for your trip, God’s gonna do something big… Again…
Audra, I cannot believe you are going through all of this as you are approaching your trip. I am so blessed by your faith and obedience, and I am standing with you.