Audra Krell

On Purpose

Never Cone Alone


If only it had been as beautiful as this picture.

For one thing, ear candling isn't typically a "spa" type experience for me. My first encounter with it was back in the late 90's. My mom, sister and I had heard of ear candling and thought we would try it for ourselves. We decided to party like it was 1999 and ended up burning a hole in mom's brand new comforter. We did the procedure on each other, anxiously cut open the candle and shrieked, hooted and hollered over the disgusting amount of wax inside each candle. We didn't know then, that the wax was simply beeswax from the candles. Good times.

Fast forward a decade later. Our three boys are out of the house for the night. My husband and I haven't been alone or on a date in six weeks. We've got the house to ourselves for 12 solid hours. After watching an old episode of CSI New York, I announce at 9:30 that it's time for bed. And that I'll be needing some help with some ear candles.

"Why can't you just do it on your own?"

"It says right here on the box, "Never cone alone!" 

"Oh my gosh. First, you're tired and want to go to bed at 9:30, then you want me to jam a candle in your ear and light it. Wow."

"I have to do this!"

 I was trying to avoid having the doctor do it. 

I got all the supplies; a lighter, the candles, a small paper plate and a slightly damp paper towel. And so it began.

The candle was hard to light. Once it did, the flame shot up, sometimes leaping over 6 inches high. My inner ear felt like it was on fire. My brave husband battled the flame, trying to keep my long hair from catching on fire. Neither one of us knew what was happening, but as the flame kept growing, we had to end prematurely. The slightly damp paper towel was no match for the now flaming torch. Finally, the flame ground out on the tiny paper plate.

I decided to forego the other ear realizing that is exactly how two highly educated people burn their house down.

The kids are gone again tonight. 

It's just my husband and me. 

Whatever will we do? 

Nothing involving those type of candles!

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6 thoughts on “Never Cone Alone

  1. Hi Audra,
    Okay…call me wayyyy behind the times…I’ve never even heard of “ear candling”!!! I suggest you do that outside, with a garden hose handy (wait…that sounds like something my kids might try!).
    Good luck with the house! Might I suggest something that doesn’t involve a flame!!

  2. Audra, this made me laugh myself silly. Now I will evermore be afraid to try this. Thanks for sharing. I’m sitting here alone with the flu and you made me laugh for the first time all day.

  3. Maybe that flu will laugh right out of you Jan! Don’t be afraid to try it, in the past it has always worked for me. Also, seriously make sure that you don’t have any product in your hair if you do it, hair spray is so flammable!
    @Lance I don’t think you’re behind the times, you’re probably even ahead of them by not going through this experience! : )

  4. Audra, that is just stinkin’ hilarious!
    I’ve always wanted to try that. What is about the ear and candles?
    I think my curiosity is satisfied now.
    Thank you.

  5. I can’t offer an opinion on ear candling. All I know is that there are some very passionate people who denounce it, but whenever people are that quick to talk bad about something, I start to wonder why?
    I’ve heard that people who do the ear candling come out of the experience feeling like it made a difference, but is it psychological or not? Who knows? All I know is that if it makes you happy, then just do it!

  6. LOL, they were just talking about ‘ear candling’ on “The Doctors” yesterday! Looks a little silly to me. I prefer the kind of candles that make your room all glowy and nice-smelling.

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